Until I Am Whole
Until I Am Whole is the sixth song on the album Transcendental Youth. Lyrics Sunset on Snohomish Burn the tree line down Hold my hopes underwater Stand there and watch them drown Fishing out their bodies From the bathroom sink Leave them in a bucket Til they start to stink I think I'll stay here Til I feel whole again I don't know when Trout swim past the fishing lines Sky gets dark and close Cars start up and make Their nightly exodus On a picnic bench alone Watch the sky go dark Dig my nails into my hands Hope it leaves a mark I think I'll stay here Til I feel whole again I don't know when Comments by John Darnielle About this Song *“It’s about a person you know who is struggling with the sort of depression that prevents you from taking care of yourself. And I thought well that’s something I have direct experience of.” (Live Gig Pre-September 2012) *"the yoga of self-mutilation" -- 2013-03-04 - WTF with Marc Maron Podcast *“This is a song about self harm.” (Northampton, 2017-11-8) Things Referenced in this Song * Snohomish is a city in northern Washington. Live Shows this Song Was Played at *2012-03-24 - Merkin Concert Hall - New York, NY *2012-04-02 - The Barbican - London, England *2012-10-15 - Bowery Ballroom - New York, NY *2012-10-19 - The Haunt - Ithaca, NY *2012-10-22 - Fine Arts Center - Calvin College - Grand Rapids, MI *2012-10-23 - Pabst Theatre - Milwaukee, WI *2012-10-24 - The Varsity Theater - Minneapolis, MN *2012-10-26 - Blue Moose Tap House - Iowa City, IA *2012-11-29 - Terminal West - Atlanta, GA *2012-11-30 - The Grey Eagle - Asheville, NC *2012-12-01 - Mercy Lounge - Nashville, TN *2012-12-03 - Cain's Ballroom - Tulsa, OK *2012-12-05 - Emo's East - Austin, TX *2012-12-08 - Crescent Ballroom - Phoenix, AZ *2012-12-09 - Club Congress - Tucson, AZ *2012-12-10 - The Irenic - San Diego, CA *2012-12-12 - Masonic Lodge - Hollywood Forever Cemetery - Los Angeles, CA *2012-12-13 - Origami Vinyl - Los Angeles, CA *2012-12-13 - Troubadour - West Hollywood, CA *2012-12-14 - The Fillmore - San Francisco, CA *2012-12-16 - Aladdin Theater - Portland, OR *2012-12-17 - KEXP Session - Seattle, WA *2012-12-17 - The Showbox - Seattle, WA *2013-03-04 - WTF with Marc Maron Podcast *2015-04-09 - Webster Hall - New York, NY *2016-02-24 - Sidebar Theatre - Tallahassee, FL *2016-02-25 - High Dive - Gainesville, FL *2016-02-27 - Noise Pop 2016 - Swedish American Hall - San Francisco, CA *2016-02-28 - Noise Pop 2016 - Swedish American Hall - San Francisco, CA *2016-03-01 - The Depot - Humboldt State University - Arcata, CA *2016-04-01 - Bearsville Theater - Woodstock, NY *2016-04-02 - College Street Music Hall - New Haven, CT *2016-04-03 - Columbus Theatre - Providence, RI *2016-04-04 - Port City Music Hall - Portland, ME *2016-04-06 - Asbury Hall - Buffalo, NY *2016-04-07 - Beachland Ballroom - Cleveland, OH *2016-04-08 - The Blind Pig - Ann Arbor, MI *2016-04-09 - The Vogue - Indianapolis, IN *2016-04-11 - City Winery - Chicago, IL *2016-04-12 - City Winery - Chicago, IL *2016-04-13 - City Winery - Chicago, IL *2016-04-14 - Covenant Fine Arts Center - Calvin College - Grand Rapids, MI *2016-04-16 - Strand-Capitol Performing Arts Center - York, PA *2016-04-17 - City Winery - New York, NY *2016-04-18 - City Winery - New York, NY *2016-04-19 - City Winery - New York, NY *2016-07-22 - Subterranean - Chicago, IL *2016-12-16 - House Show for Scott - Cherry Hill, NJ *2017-06-28 - Columbus Theatre - Providence, RI *2017-07-08 - Majestic Theatre - Madison, WI *2017-10-05 - Brudenell Social Club - Leeds, England *2017-10-06 - Brudenell Social Club - Leeds, England *2017-10-08 - Button Factory - Dublin, Ireland *2017-10-09 - Glasgow Art School - Glasgow, Scotland *2017-10-11 - O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire - London, England *2017-10-12 - The Haunt - Brighton, England *2017-10-13 - De Helling - Utrecht, The Netherlands *2017-10-15 - Pumpehuset - Copenhagen, Denmark *2017-10-16 - Debaser Strand - Stockholm, Sweden *2017-10-17 - John Dee - Oslo, Norway *2017-11-06 - 9:30 Club - Washington, D.C. *2017-11-08 - Calvin Theatre - Northampton, MA *2017-11-12 - Brooklyn Steel - Brooklyn, NY *2017-11-13 - House of Blues - Boston, MA *2017-11-16 - Majestic Theatre - Detroit, MI *2017-11-17 - Riviera Theatre - Chicago, IL *2019-08-09 - College Street Music Hall - New Haven, CT Videos of this Song *2012-04-02 - The Barbican - London, England *2012-12-12 - Masonic Lodge - Hollywood Forever Cemetery - Los Angeles, CA *2015-04-09 - Webster Hall - New York, NY Category:Transcendental Youth songs Category:Video